Personal essay originally published on Antifragile Zine here.
In light of the recent eruption of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, I’ve taken a real look at myself as a non-Black person standing in solidarity. I’ve protested in the streets, devoured stories of racial injustice from those many “Antiracism Reading Lists,” committed to having difficult conversations with friends and family, contributed to tangentially related campaigns to take power away from cops that uphold capital and white supremacy, vowed to step back and try not to center myself or my community when this is the Movement for Black Lives — however, here I am: centering my community for the sake of some much-needed reflection. I’ve realized that ignoring the implications of my Asian American identity in this journey of education and advocacy under the guise of “not centering myself,” there’s still another danger: without a personal stake, “social awareness” veers too close to becoming a clinical pursuit of knowledge. Not leaning into the sometimes uncomfortable personal connection or grounding myself in how my own community has perpetuated anti-Blackness would be distancing myself from fixing a festering wound of unresolved conflict. While I identify as Chinese-American, and that’s the only experience I can speak to because Asian Americans are not a monolith, one relatively uniform aspect of all this has been a vocal part of our community’s backlash to the #BlackLivesMatter movement.
Early on, I knew talking about the #BlackLivesMatter movement was a difficult conversation with my family that needed to happen in the midst of this indubitably racially charged moment. I also knew my parents leaned socially conservative about issues such as LGBT+ rights and affirmative action, harboring the same unspoken anti-Black stances as so many of the Chinese-American social circles in their generation of immigrants. But because anti-Black racism had never really come up before, I’d never broached this subject with my family, much less at the dinner table; I’d never experienced such virulent anti-Blackness up close. But in a time where the only front-page headlines for weeks were images of looting and fires, the subject became impossible to avoid, even if I had not already made my support for BLM and opposition to the police state clear. And when the inevitable conflict over our views on racism occurred, the result was nothing short of heartbreaking. When I tried to communicate that Black people deserve equal treatment and dignity, my mom turned to classic conservative talking points: retorts of “All Lives Matter,” later even pulling up a video of notorious conservative commentator Candace Owens speculating about George Floyd’s criminal record. I was shocked — I’d never imagined that my mother, the woman who raised me, the former schoolteacher preaching love and kindness, would act like this. Our values stemmed from the same household, so how could such hurtful things come out of her mouth? Rounds and rounds of exhausting dinner table conversations escalated into arguments, with my little brother pleading with us to stay civil. It astonished me over and over how much my mom’s defensive arguments dehumanized the Black community. When I pleaded with her to empathize with fellow human beings, she made it clear that she did not think our communities were comparable. She held up Asian Americans as “safe, rule-abiding citizens,” while reducing Black people down to racial stereotypes of “thugs” and “lazy,” generalizing a whole race as inferior.
An indicator of rampant anti-Blackness normalized within our community, this casual racism was jarring. Instilled by white supremacy and bolstered by the model minority myth, a large portion of the Asian American community followed the same train of thought as my mom, playing right into the myth’s insidious goal of pitting communities of color against one another. These anti-Black views are reinforced by articles and videos spread through the Internet on Wechat, the form of social media that many Chinese families use. Worryingly effective and vocal online, the Chinese Right Wing has emerged and influenced many first generation Chinese American immigrants through online propaganda, turning many recipients, including my parents, against progressive ideas and promoting right wing talking points. Still, I find it hard to blame anyone in particular — not my parents, not their peers, not even the online right wing — when it’s white supremacy enforcing this mindset upon Asian Americans that turn us against other communities of color due to prejudice and stereotypes; white supremacy tries to prevent us from banding together and forming the interracial solidarity that could be the answer to it all.
Over the past month, I’ve had the incredible opportunity of spending time in an AAPI (Asian-American Pacific Islander) affinity space for Black lives, a weekly Zoom meeting organized by a friend. This affinity group introduced me to political scientist Claire Jean Kim’s essay “The Racial Triangulation of Asian Americans,” in which she explains how “Asian Americans have been racially triangulated vis-a-vis Blacks and Whites.” Over periods spanning the mid-1800s to post-Civil Rights era to now, the effect of reproducing patterns of white power and privilege has remained constant. Cozying up to the white ruling class in a society that is indeed entrenched in white supremacy has been the Asian American community’s strategy — when white people hold all the institutional power, aligning with white supremacy means relative safety and protection and proximity to prestige.
My most striking takeaway from Kim’s essay confirmed what I’ve been slowly putting together for myself over the past year: multiracial solidarity is everything. It is not enough to personally educate ourselves to be more accepting than our communities; it is also crucial to make sure that we make a sincere effort to move our communities towards anti-racism and mutual support, especially when society has conditioned so many of us to be anti-Black and perpetuate white supremacist rhetoric. Communities of color must not allow white supremacy to divide us. Historically, we are so much stronger together, and that is why multiracial solidarity is crucial to dismantle systems of oppression like white supremacy. Anti-Blackness must be unlearned in Asian American communities for us to do our part in building a multiracial movement for Black liberation and ultimately, our collective liberation.
If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.
— Lila Watson, Aboriginal Activist
- Seeding Change
- Center for Empowered Politics
- A Different Asian American Timeline
- Chinese Progressive Scholars on Race in the US 《种族问题和撕裂的美国社会》系列沙龙
- Chinese for Black Lives
- Why Be a ‘Model Minority’ When You Could Dismantle White Supremacy?
- Letters for Black Lives